Xoxobra: Selected Writings About Music & Life: Everything I've Ever Wanted To Know About Ass-Kicking

Eugene S. Robinson is my hero.

The meaning of the word "hero" as I intended it there would probably invoke the assumption that he's an inspiration to me, which is correct to a degree, but at times he doesn't inspire me so much as he deflates any motivation I have to even try to be on his level. He's the lead singer of probably my favorite band, Oxbow, who are known for making music on their own terms (read: all strange and shit) and have been doing so for a long time. He's a writer who not only has had articles published in a laundry list of major publications, but has even written a book, called Fight: Or Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Ass-Kicking But Were Afraid You'd Get Your Ass Kicked For Asking. Probably the best title for anything ever.

So he's pretty much exactly what I want to be. It's not just that he's a musician and a writer, but he's the exact kind of musician and writer that I would want to be: distinctive style; writing intelligently about topics most people assume require little intelligence (i.e. fighting). I'm trying to improve as a writer, but my flaws are too great right now. I can't say my skills are anything more than decent. So I settle for the title of "blogger", which I believe is derived from a Latin noun meaning "failed journalist drunk on his/her own sense of entitlement and self-importance". I also want to be a musician, but I seem to lack the motivation to sit down with an instrument and force myself to learn it (hello bass in my closet!). I tell myself that I will one day, when things are less hectic; when my debt is paid off and I'm not working two jobs. But the truth is that I have plenty of free time even if it's less than what most people have. And in three years I should've been able to make the time if I really wanted to make the time.

There sometimes isn't a correlation between what people say they want and how they spend their time. An overweight person might say they want to be thin, but the constant consumption of unhealthy foods and lack of exercise tells the real truth. I've made a big step personally in starting this blog because I had been putting it off so long. I got tired of telling myself that I want to do something and then not doing it. I can only hope this sense of taking action makes me more determined in other areas and by this time next year this blog will still be active and I'll be good enough with my bass to be able to complain with confidence about how Guitar Hero is nothing like the real thing, because I need new things to be a snob about.

Oh, and I should also mention that Eugene Robinson and I share somewhat of a resemblance. It's kind of weird, actually.